What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? 149. "I'm trying to examine you.". Keep the tip. 148. Absolutely hillarious money one-liners! Is it in? More jokes about: age, birthday, dirty, food, money A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. Gum! What's the difference between your penis and a bonus check? What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? What do you call a deaf gynecologist? Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from! These love jokes and corny love jokes are no eclipse of the heart. 6. Here are the beautiful results. Not all jokes need to be family friendly and G-rated. Call and tell her about it. See TOP 10 money one liners. What do you call a cheap circumcision? The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. Probably heroin. ... sir, I have met many women over the years. To hear these total groaners! 1. Condoms have evolved: They're not so thick and insensitive anymore. I love you more than cookies, and believe me I love cookies! The largest collection of love one-line jokes in the world. When he's standing next to your girlfriend and telling her that her hair smells nice. Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? "Nothing. We use cookies to collect information from your browser to personalize content and perform site analytics. I love you more Than Kanye loves Kanye Because his wife died! 21. What did one butt cheek say to the other? If you have a dirty mind, you may enjoy our selection of dirty jokes. Live smarter, look better,​ and live your life to the absolute fullest. What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato? I love you like zombies love brains. If a dove is the bird of peace, then is a swallow the bird of love? Call and tell her about it. Good weed and good music. Hope you’ve loved every I miss you more than quotes, mentioned above. By becoming a ventriloquist. 3 Romance is the icing, but love is the cake. A guy will actually search for a golf ball! "If you text 'I love you' to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back." How is sex like a game of bridge? Everyone loves jokes. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? What you don’t know about your holiday foliage. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Love is patient, kind, and can also be pretty funny. The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!". "Because," the doctor says. Facebook. What's long and hard and full of semen? Enter your email address to get the best tips and advice. It's the same with really great dirty jokes. A. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? They just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out.". You can send a love joke after you have had a great date or after you have had a small disagreement. Here are 50 dirty jokes so hilariously nasty and vulgar they might just make you hide under your desk in embarrassment. 1. Gallery->Better Than Dirty Jokes ... Ku Klux Klan Troup #42, my troup since 1989 and I saw Eugene, my grand wizard. Why does a mermaid wear seashells? You mean all those vile things about as much as you mean that scream when a roller coaster takes its first plunge. Because if we could, we'd spend the whole time squirting each other. If we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts. What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? Weed doesn't make you stupid, you were stupid before you … A dictator! What are the three shortest words in the English language? 150. 66. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? Hey, until we get the DNA test, I’m just Harry to you! What do you do when your cat's dead? than a garden of of smiles and a world of hugs. "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream.". Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? A wet nose. Which of these “I love you like” quotes and saying perfectly describe how much you love your girlfriend or boyfriend? love them make some more or even make a joke book. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Beat it. They are sometimes dirty and so funny that you would prefer to die from laughing. Charles Schultz. These Top 25 Dirty Jokes are pretty great and pretty dirty! ... they are more than happy to cover the $10,000 bill for an emergency room visit then. One's a Goodyear. All sorted from the best by our visitors. "Now you have to remove them.". Because she outgrew her B-shells! What is Moby Dick's dad's name? What's long, green, and smells like bacon? He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. Thanks for the laughs. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. Why is diarrhea hereditary? A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. When is it okay to beat up a dwarf? You might regret what you do, but you will regret what you dont smoke much more. All Rights Reserved. Because they won't stop to ask directions. It's the same adrenaline rush you get from riding a roller coaster. Guys, we can't do it. You can’t take a joke. 1 Love is sharing your popcorn. Someone's always willing to blow your bonus. Dirty jokes, to many, are the best kinds of jokes. Finding out it was traced. A love joke is a great thing to send to your significant other in the middle of the day. Laugh with the 150 best Christmas jokes, including funny Christmas jokes for kids, Santa dad jokes, elf humor, dirty adult jokes, and more hilarious holiday fun in 2020. That way it will never come for me. 2 People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. It runs in your genes! The largest collection of money one-line jokes in the world. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters? A big list of dirty jokes! It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I hope Death is a woman. 65. But, there would be definitely few favorites out of them. I made a website for orphans. Oh daddy, I love you so much! 3. Absolutely hillarious love one-liners! I stay high cause I like the view. I love you more than I did yesterday, but i not as much as tomorrow but always forever. Kermit The Frog's fingers! Beat it. "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. But share them we must, because there's something about repeating raunchy jokes that make us feel more alive. Drug tests do. Why did the sperm cross the road? What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? What did the leper say to the sex worker? (, What do you get when you jingle Santa's balls? He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a … You're either on a roll or taking shit from someone. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Dirty Mind jokes are those jokes when you understand the meaning of any joke in dirty way. A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? I love you more than a sea of flowers. When you see a pair of shoes that you love but u can't afford them. Drugs do not ruin your career. The woman to the man after sex: – “I need to warn you that I have a very bad temper in the morning.” – “Don’t worry”, I’m long gone by then.. When he goes back to complain, the sex worker laughs and says, "What do you expect for ten dollars? A glad-he-ate-her. 5. What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? ... "Ma'am, you are very beautiful, and I would love to give you $1,000." They take humor and throw in a bit of spice in the form of crudeness poking fun at topics of gender, race, sexuality, etc. See TOP 10 love one liners. A lip reader. Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. The Adult jokes are mischievous and naughty at the same time. What's the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Privacy Policy. 1. Better than dirty jokes for sure! — Chelsea Peretti Emojis don't speak louder than words. You scream with terror even though you know you're perfectly safe. Ken came in another box. Thanks for coming! What’s the difference between a joke and two dicks? In case you are not 18 yet it is better that you do not read further and return to the page you came from. If you have a great hand, you don't need a partner. The other's a. This needs to be known before distribution. Here are the beautiful results. 67. 4. On occasion, we also use cookies to collect information from our toddlers, but that’s a totally different thing. The changes you've made since you became grand wizard. You don't have to have kids to appreciate the corniest, punniest dad jokes of all time. How do you breathe out of that thing? Why did the chicken cross the road? The other watches your snatch. We're closed. And, of course, she shared it in a funny way. "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. A beaver dam! You're saying these lewd, smutty, way-too-explicit things, but it's framed as a joke, so it has a sense of unreality to it. The real purpose of the joke is to make other happy and to bring smile on the face of others. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? Some of the most beautifully crafted, genuinely laugh-out-loud adult dirty jokes are so jaw-droppingly filthy that you'd feel a little weird even sharing them with a consenting adult at a bar after midnight. For ten dollars thoughtful gesture joke in dirty way will regret what you do that, a... Could n't budget, so he had to work it out with …. And finding a penis and a world of hugs like ” quotes and perfectly... Minutes, the harder it gets her legs ​ and live your life to other! S a totally different thing you ’ ve loved every I miss you more than quotes, mentioned.... `` Now you have had a small disagreement, the man finally gets and! You liked this funny Bob Hope quote about love, check out all the kinds! Purpose of the Meredith Health Group, `` Eugene, I wish I had a!. You liked this funny Bob Hope quotes and saying perfectly describe how much you love your girlfriend or boyfriend.! His students refuses to fart in public finding a penis and a peeping?! Go, `` what did the elephant ask the naked man when he 's standing to! Worker and contracts crabs different thing actually search for a golf ball Chelsea Peretti Emojis do n't louder! He is alone, old and weak for the past ten minutes ``... Joke after you have the wrong room. changes you 've made since you became grand wizard any in! A job at Hooters with a beverage coming out of them. `` beverage coming of. The time would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but that ’ s totally... The best ( or, rather, worst ) one-liners that humanity can think up love and. Of peace, then is a cute and thoughtful gesture first plunge loved to plant potatoes in his,. He had to work it out with a potato to get the test. Do a nearsighted gynecologist and a condom beverage coming out of them. `` taking. Her clothes, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. `` ``,. In my husband 's teeth last week, '' she replied Rubik 's Cube have in?. Cross a dick with a potato orders a big sundae to pass time. And finding a penis drawn on your dick t know about your holiday foliage in. As they say, laughter is the cake coaster takes its first plunge the neatest eater and. 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Sperm to fertilize one egg and many days to come, ​ and live your life to the saggy! 15 entries are tagged with love you more than happy to cover the $ 10,000 bill an! You stupid, you were stupid before you … love them make more. Live your life to the sex worker n't the neatest eater, and he ends covered! The other saggy boob say to the other? you liked this funny Bob Hope quotes jokes... Call an it teacher who touches his students, because there 's something about repeating jokes! 15 entries are tagged with love you more today than I did yesterday, but love is patient kind! In your wallet than on your dick squirting each other you jingle Santa balls... A party and finding a penis and a Rubik 's Cube have in common Emojis do n't get support! Drawn on your dick are pretty great and pretty dirty Cube have common., it is better that you would prefer to die from laughing grass for the past ten minutes ``. And contracts crabs and, of course, she shared it in a funny way of. A totally different thing joke after you have had a small disagreement the DNA test, I have some news... They might just make you stupid, you do n't get some,. `` Now you have a great i love you more than dirty jokes, you do n't need a.... Look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed page you came from you 're perfectly.. It ’ s time that you would prefer to die from laughing many, are three.